We took a little family break to London last week for a pretty exciting event. Being out of town-ers you could have spotted us a mile off. Clueless as soon as soon as we got to Gatwick airport. Where to go, what train to get and inevitably it ended in tears… mine, just to be clear! And yes, a lot of that can be put down to being hormonal but around 80% of it was that we just aren’t used to this. We are a strong family unit of three that likes things pretty routine, we like to know where we’re going, what we’re doing and when it’s happening. Sure it took us a while to get here after having Wren but we did it, and it got me thinking, how is it going to be becoming a family of four and trying to go away for the weekend?
Look at these nutters. I have no doubt that the new life in my tummy wont pop out and fit right in, but i’ve been thinking about them a lot lately. Who will they look like? Will they sleep as well as Wren? Will i love them as much? Will i be able to continue to give Wren everything she needs, pouring everything i have into her? Will Calum feel even further down the pecking order? Will i EVER get to sleep until 8am again?
People have said that your heart just grows, and i don’t doubt it for a second. But it’s so hard to imagine. I LOVE being a Mum, it’s the best job i’ve ever had. I wasn’t ever very career driven as i never felt i was truly any good at anything or loved it that much that i wanted to make it my life. Since having Wren, i’ve found photography, blogging and friends that i didn’t have before. She made me, and i owe her everything for that. I wonder if #2 will cause another shift? Will i feel differently about myself? There are literally a million unanswered questions whirling around my brain right now, you’ve no idea!
We are such a great team and i love our set up. Yes, it’s tough sometimes, yes, Calum works away from us for weeks at a time, but it works. Wren and i have a really great relationship and she has an equally special one with her Dad. When he’s home we have full days and evenings, seven days a week to be together and for that i am truly thankful. I do hope, that when #2 arrives i can cope as well as i am now, that being alone with two babies wont change who i am as a Mother for the worse, as i fear it might. I admire most parents i know, specially the ones who face challenges and handle them like the boss babes they are (See my pal Megan from Its The Mother for some real hero viewing) i just hope i can be as great in the transition.
Anyway, this feels a little rambley, but we’re just home from our 20 week scan and i’m feeling all the feels right now after seeing the little babe wriggle about in my tummy! We’ve been blessed (i hate that word, but we have) with another textbook pregnancy (so far) and things have been exactly the same as last time. Here’s hoping things continue to go as well as they have been and i manage to get my head around things soon! I’d really appreciate some insight from others too, if anyone is willing to give it…? Did your heart just grow? Did you worry or feel differently towards your second? SHARE WITH ME!